538 Fresh Out Of Fellowship
There is a seismic shift taking place in Christianity. Not the least of that being radically shaken is the Christian practice called fellowship. I must admit, my own fellowship thermometer hasn’t exactly been registering warm and balmy conditions lately. I’m no longer satisfied with the anemic substitute of organizational association that I used to dress up and call fellowship. I long for something more; something authentic.
I decided it would be helpful to do a case study of a cross section of people to see who is and isn’t experiencing fellowship.
Disgruntled Dave Dave was raised going to church and developed into a heavily involved church member for more than 40 years. He held numerous positions in his local church as well as at the national level of his denomination. But after a decade of wrestling with philosophical and theological differences with the organized church, Gregg finally left. He has rarely attended church now for three years.
Loyal Laura Laura was also raised in the church but despite some things that rub her wrong, she has never left and probably never will. She rarely misses a Sunday morning service, often volunteers to teach Sunday School and enjoys coordinating her church’s pot-lucks and picnics.
Confused Connie Though Connie wasn’t raised in the church she now has several children and is dedicated to raising them to know God. She always thought it was important for her to attend church to help her kid’s relationship with God but she never lasts longer than six months at a church before something drives her away. Yet, after a month or so of staying at home she feels convicted enough to load up her kids and once again try to find a new church to attend.
Pagan Paul Paul has never attended church and probably never will; however, he is amazingly respectful of those who do. He might be a Christian but has never expressed so in classic terms. He is a genuinely kind person who is deeply involved in community and civic activities.
Who of these is experiencing fellowship?
Before I get back to my friends let’s take a quick overview of the topic at hand. Fellowship is to American Christianity what French fries are to McDonalds. Churches use the term fellowship in their names and mission statements, they have fellowship halls in their buildings and their pastors preach on fellowship as regularly as tithing. It almost seems redundant to add yet another fellowship column onto the mountain that is published on this topic every year.
Fellowship comes from the famous Greek word “koinonia” which essentially means to share in something. Of course the most basic element Christians share is their fellowship with Christ. Paul talks about believers sharing in Christ’s life, suffering, dying and future inheritance. To be a Christian means we live out our life on this 3rd rock from the Sun with the Son; accepting the good and the bad.
The New Testament writers adapt this concept of fellowship to the followers of Jesus. We are to share in a partnership of faith with one another the same way we share in the ups and downs of Jesus’ life. In other words, Christians are to share in other Christian’s joys and sorrows, faith and doubts, wealth and poverty, highs and lows – all without regard to age, gender, race, social status, appearance or any other artificially contrived earthly standard of division.
How ironic that fellowship, a central concept of Christianity, seems to be anything but central to Christianity as we see it. With fellowship in mind Paul asked the rhetorical question, “Is Christ divided?” The answer of course is no. Christ is a solid rock but his body the church certainly is not. It often seems as if the doctrine and practice of fellowship was never even taught by Jesus or Paul.
The good news is that despite the countless ways humans have invented to be divided and blatantly reject fellowship with one another and others, God’s mercy is greater than our sin. Regardless of the mutilation humans inflict upon Christ’s body the church; our earthly actions can’t change the eternal reality. “There is only body and one Spirit – just as you were called to one hope when you were called – one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all through all and in all” (Ephesians 4:4-6).
Fellowship then is one of the most glorious hallmarks of the Christian faith. When applied and practiced, its power and beauty is one of the greatest forces for individual and corporate change on earth. Fortunately, the lack of fellowship demonstrated by so many of Jesus’ followers in no way diminishes the fact that God’s will triumphs and fellowship will ultimately reign supreme.
Now back to my friends. Who is, and isn’t experiencing fellowship.
Disgruntled Dave Recently, after not attending church for weeks on end, Dave was longing for fellowship so he talked his wife into visiting a Sunday morning worship service. Afterward he reported, “It was awful, just awful. I don’t think I will ever attend church again in my life.” I asked Dave what he was going to do about his longing for fellowship. “That is a huge question. I don’t know. I don’t miss church at all, but I deeply miss hanging out with others.”
Loyal Laura Yes, Laura attends church weekly but when I asked if she enjoys the fellowship she gets at church she said, “Fellowship? Hmmmm. I really like our worship services and social events but we don’t really get together much outside of church. I like learning more about God and helping others find Jesus but I hardly share my real life with anyone. Maybe I need to join a home group in my church?”
Confused Connie After her latest attempt to get involved in a church fizzled, Connie decided she is done trying (I’m not sure I believe her). “Now, when people ask me if I’m attending a church, I just say ‘Why?’ Most people just give me a blank stare.” I cautiously asked Connie how she was going to experience fellowship – half expecting her to answer me with a “Why?” Instead she shocked me. “Oh heck, I’ve never depended upon church for my fellowship. I get that at a Bible study I attend, at the YMCA and with all the friends I talk to during the week. Fellowship has never been a problem for me.”
Pagan Paul When I asked Paul if he experiences fellowship he looked at me as if I were speaking Greek. Not being a church-goer he had no clue what I was asking. I explained the concept of fellowship pretty much like I did above and Paul’s eyes lit up bright. “Fellowship huh; wow that’s great, I absolutely love it! Jesus taught some totally cool stuff. I’m not always so sure about Paul but he seems to be right on with this fellowship stuff.” I again asked if he experiences fellowship anywhere. “Absolutely, with friends in both my yoga class and the social action group I’m a part of. We all see ourselves connected by God. I don’t suppose we share our lives quite as deeply as we’d like but as a matter of practice we try to.”
I’m the first to celebrate fellowship when it is found in the context of a local church and there are some beautiful examples in every community. But sadly, the foundations of many churches are formed with materials that are in direct conflict with the concept of fellowship. The pervasive doctrines of exclusion and division are the primary reason why Disgruntled Dave left the church. Moreover, many church programs, regardless the way they are promoted, are for the purpose of sustaining the organization not nurturing fellowship. Loyal Laura longs for fellowship, but bless her heart, she settles for shallowness.
For many years I preached fellowship sermons saying how essential it is that we never forsake the gathering of the saints. If we stop attending church, I’d say, we risk losing both the benefits and ability to follow Jesus. I believed most of what I preached but I also knew that I was trying to shore up our church attendance.
Intentional or not, I used scriptures for my gain. Even crazier, I manipulated people to remain in a system that restricted, not enhance fellowship. (Any church that teaches fellowship like that is restricting fellowship.) Confused Connie ignores such sermons; she instinctively knows that one doesn’t have to attend church to experience fellowship.
Most fascinating to me is Pagan Paul. He seems to be experiencing fellowship but he is outside the trappings of classic Christianity. Is he in fellowship or is he delusional? I can’t deny that his life clearly bears the fruit of fellowship even if he doesn’t nicely align with orthodoxy.
After my little study I found myself asking the Lord to give me eyes to see where I have accepted anti-fellowship doctrines and practices that promote division and exclusion. I saw that fellowship isn’t brain-surgery – that just as it can be defined in a couple of paragraphs it can be practiced with simple acts of love and acceptance.
I also realized that Confused Connie isn’t so confused and Pagan Paul isn’t so pagan. It seems they both have some thing to offer to folks like Disgruntled Dave, Loyal Laura …and me.
Finally, I believe we can all agree that there is a fellowship void across the landscape of American Christianity for those inside and outside of the church walls. Perhaps Confused Connie and Pagan Paul can help us on this one.
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